where did you go

where did you go?

did you dissipate in the raging prairie winds,
caught in the tall rustling grasses?
did you leap from a hanging outcrop,
out of sight and out of mind to the rocks below?
did you slowly saunter down an open desert road,
listening to insect songs and coyote yips, only the moon as company?
did you dig a hole of despair and burrow into its depression,
melting back into the earth among worms and bugs?

where did you go?

perhaps you climbed a mountain of indifference,
to slide down a stagnant glacier, creeping to the sea.
perhaps you still run an endless, desolate track,
legs trembling, lungs screaming.
perhaps you sit in a corner of a busy room,
watching others, unnoticed.
perhaps you crouched in the sagebrush, hide-and-seek
finally giving up to go anywhere else to play.

where did you go?

sometimes i see you from an abandon barn window, paint peeling, rafters caving, peeking through broken glass out over a fallow field.
sometimes i glimpse you among the trash heaps,threading through discarded things, stench of rot and forgotten wants.
sometimes i feel you skitter across the keyboard,writing traces of what was and never will be again.
sometimes, out of the corner of my eye, an apparition fading as i turn a flashlight in your direction

where did you go?

i feel a chasm where you were, dark, deep, endless.
i grieve, no remnants of hope expanding behind your wake.
i am paralyzed with indecision, wondering when I will leap,
a small unnoticed splash sinking to the bottom,
ripples and bubbles blending back into the sea.

where did you go —
Eros, Philos and Agape?

where did you go, love?

where did you go

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littered

Steamrolled paper thin
gravel biting my back

a gust of wind blows me with the dried leaf herd
scratching morse code on the asphalt

wedged in an underpass nook
destined for dirty roadway snow piles
to decompose in spring run-off

littered

de-served

de served

ice clinks and water is poured
clear liquid cools parched mouths
as i hand out drinks

i reach for another glass for myself
the cupboard yields one with lime deposits
the next has food dried in the bottom
my fingernail bends as i try to scrape it out
this one has smudges and lipstick marks

ahhh a clean one
i pour ice and water into it
only to find thick gray and white sediment
swirling in a tornado spiral

others drink
i watch, glancing at row of dirty vessels
thirsty

de-served